Love without Compatibility
Author: miki All you need is love. Love conquers all. Through love, all things are possible. We are taught these concepts about love. While it is true that love is an amazing and powerful thing capable of incredible healing, motivation, and miracles; a marriage needs more than that. If love were really the only thing needed to sustain a long-term relationship, then most marriages would never end in divorce and bitter break ups. The ugly truth is that if we are not compatible with each other, than the road to 'happily ever after' will be long and difficult. At the very least we end up with another broken heart, sometimes even worse.
Compatibility is so much more than just agreeing that you are both morning people and that you both enjoy the same style of lattes. Compatibility is a deep and twisted dynamic involving a combination of belief systems, personality traits, hopes and dreams, psychological needs, cycles and patterns, and mutual magnetism. There are pieces of the compatibility puzzle that we can logically fix, alter, change, and manipulate, but there are other pieces that we cannot affect on a conscious level. For example, raw passion and physical attraction for each other, you can love a person's mind and spirit but simply not be sexually attracted to them. It's like leading a horse to water, you can't make him drink. Sometimes no matter how much we want to like someone on a more intimate level, it just isn't there. Other things, like philosophies of parenting can be negotiated and worked on to find common ground that works for both of you.
There are many areas of compatibility to consider before committing yourself to a life together. Most people absolutely believe in their heart of hearts when they make those marriage vows that the love they feel for the other person will override the daily ups and downs of sharing a life together. Unfortunately, life can quite easily throw a wet blanket over the fires of your love and reduce it to quiet smoldering embers and even to die out completely. Here is a list of important compatibility factors to consider before getting married. It is not in any special order of importance, as everyone weights the various components and their importance differently. Some people really don't care about religion and spirituality while others feel that it of utmost importance. They all need to be looked at, contemplated, discussed, and evaluated openly and honestly before you make your vows rather than later in couple's counseling.
Important areas of compatibility for an easy and enjoyable marriage:
Basic Core Personality Types
Monetary Needs, Financial Goals, and Charity
Communications Needs and Styles
Need for and Influence of Extended Families
General Lifestyle Patterns and Preferences
Romance Needs, Styles, and Preferences
The Desire for Children and Parenting Techniques and Philosophies
Leisure Activities, Playtime, and Joint Interests
Sense of Humor, What You Laugh at, and Why
Work Ethic, Sense of Entitlement, and Desire to Be Useful
Ability and Willingness to Compromise, Negotiate, and Diplomacy
Sexuality and Fidelity
Ability to Share
Religion and Spirituality
Education and Intellect
Cultural, Political, and Philosophical Beliefs
Public Image, Reputation, and Manners
Reliability and Trust
Social Skills and Popularity
Honesty and Integrity
Depth of Connection Needed
Whether you are using an astrology compatibility report, a professional matchmaker, a book on compatibility, a matchmaking website with computer generated matches, your friends' opinions and feedback, or just your gut instinct to help you find your best partner, you need to know that on most levels you and your lover are compatible as well as in love. Yes, the relationship absolutely must be a love match because love motivates you to want to fix the problems that come between you, but you also really need to be compatible so that the road you travel together has the fewest possible potholes, roadblocks, and fallen debris in your way. Falling in love is easy; staying in love is a whole other story.
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